The explosions seamed like they were coming from close by outside; the distance between us was marginally comforting. I look at the women around me, still concerned with mashed potatoes, pretending not to have noticed the disturbance. The constant flow of kids in the lunch line continues to move, letting nothing slow down the current. The students continue to file into the lunchroom and then sit with their waiting friends, unable to hear the noises over the roar of themselves. I meet the worried look of Jay (9?), a custodian, just before he leaves to check out the sounds outside of our back doors. Being married to a cop makes me continuously nervous, but that was nothing compared to the current sensation in my gut. Those of us that are serving food continue, doing our best to look calm and collected.
“Get down! Under the tables! Everyone, hide!”
I can hear Jay and two other male voices yelling in the room next to us. They keep telling the kids to hide. Hide from what? What is coming for them? Should I be hiding too? Suddenly, the line of kids contorts into a mob of frantic teenagers. Everyone moves in different directions, trying to escape the unknown horror. My hand is abruptly no longer holding a serving spoon but someone else’s hand. Karen pulls me from the steam tables to the back room.
“Call Erik, see what’s going on.” She hisses at me. I can see fright in her eyes and I’m sure mine look very similar. I grab my purse and force my shaking fingers to search for my cell phone. I dial Erik and wait for the comfort of his voice, but all I get is his answering machine. I close my phone and wait for Karen to tell me what to do next but as she opens her mouth to speak, me both jump at the sounds of a blast.
A dozen kids run into the back room with us, the innocence gone from their eyes, only to be replaced with terror. They look at Karen and I like we have answers for them, but of course, we don’t. I tell them to huddle together as far from the doors as they can while Karen and I try to figure out what’s going on.
“They are trying to kill us all!” a boy whispers just before he hides his face in his hands. I’m about to prod him for more information when I hear more gunfire. I fall to my hands and knees and start to crawl. Karen is beside me instantly and we both move from the back room through the kitchen serving area. I turn to tell the kids to get close together and hide but they have beat me too it. Their instincts have taken over as they cling to each other in fear. I see one of the boys pull out a phone and dial three digits before (10) I turn again to continue crawling.
When we reach the entrance to the cafeteria, I pause for a moment to collect my shaking self. I take a deep breath; at this point, I didn’t know if it would be my last. I try to give Karen a reassuring smile but it comes out as more of a grimace. Then I slowly peaked my head around the doorframe, looking for any danger between me and the exit closer to my car. Smoke looms near the ceiling of the whole room, the remains from the explosion we heard earlier. I can hear more gunshots coming from the top of the stairs near by. Whoever it is is up near the library and the science wing (11). The shooting stops and I can hear feet coming down the stairs that lead right into the cafeteria. My heart skips a beat as I panic. I lay flat on the floor, hiding but still watching to see who it is and what they are capable of.
Two high school boys, one in a black T-shirt and the other in white (12), travel down the stairs. They are heavily armed with guns, at least three a piece. The boy in white stops on the platform, just before the base of the stairs, and aims his gun at a duffle bag across the room (13). He fires several shots but nothing happens. The boy in black walks over to the target and starts messing with the bag. The other boy follows him. While across the room, they drink from water bottles that had been left on the tables by fleeing students. The sight makes me sick. They graciously quench their thirst with the water left by a student whose life they have threatened. I cover my mouth in an effort not to throw up.
Karen tugs at my shirt and I slowly turn towards her. Questions flash across her face but I put my pointer finger up to my lips, signaling her to stay quiet. I whisper, not using any voice to stay as quiet as possible, and explain that there are two boys, armed and dangerous. We need to stay here and stay quiet. I rotate back towards the horrific scene of the cafeteria, looking for the shooters. I have lost sight of them but I can hear their voices. They are mumbling but suddenly one voice gets louder. I hear it say, “Today the world’s going to come to an end. Today’s the day we die (14).” All the nerves in my body freeze and I am numb, unable to feel the cold tile underneath my body or even turn to look at Karen. I look up in time to see the two boys walk back up the stairs towards the library again, still carrying their guns.
Tears run down my cheeks, whether from relieve that I still had my life or fear for the people who still remained up stars. I rolled over and grabbed Karen’s face, her cheeks also wet with tears. “We have to get out of here,” I whispered, looking directly into her big brown eyes, “now!” We crawl back to the room where we left the dozen plus kids. They all sat there silent and terrified. As we approach them, we tell them we have to leave with panicked, hurried whispers. One by one they get up and we lead them to the doors that go outside to the teacher parking lot behind the school. From there, they are met by officers and are able to run to the police cars that had arrived. Each time I come to the doors with a new student, I look for Erik. I don’t know if he is here but I secretly hope he isn’t.
Just as we are sending the last two kids outside, we hear more gunshots from upstairs. I cringe at each explosion, who knew how many innocent kids were dead and how many more were wounded. More smoke had been created by the preceding gunshots; just enough to set off the smoke alarms and the sprinkler system in the cafeteria (15). Karen and I are soaked as we run from the building to the safety of the ambulances and officers.
Cold and terrified, I search for Erik. I asked around but people are rightfully distracted by the more pressing manner at hand. Shots are fired from inside the building and then more from the police that stand in front of me. Windows shatter as bullets go through their panes. I look up at the school I have worked at for the most recent part of my life; once, it was the nicest school on this side of the state, now it stands broken, covered in the blood of its students. The loud whirring of a helicopter is followed by gusts of wind as it comes into view. As I turn to look at the aircraft, I spot a familiar squad car on the other side of the parking lot. Erik is here. The nausea sets in again and I almost double over. To get to his car, I would have to walk for half a mile, without any protection or trees or cars or cops.
I hear the radio from on of the police cars going through the various codes, some of which I know from Erik talking about them, but also announcing that the school needs to be evacuated (16). SWAT team members and officers over by Erik’s car act on this command by moving towards the school; the ones by me stay because they have a direct view of the library, where the gun shots can still be heard. The windows of the upstairs library are all gone and paramedics rescue three students from the second story (17). They are then rushed away to the hospital with bullet wounds. The world is quiet for a second. No more gunfire. All that is heard is the sirens of the police cruisers and the helicopter above us, small annoyances compared to what we all had just witnessed.
I look over to where Erik’s car is parked, hoping to see him in one piece. Still, I can’t find him. I start to cry, all the possible tragedies playing in my head. As I look around I see other tear stained faces so I’m not embarrassed. I start to walk towards where Erik should be when I hear two final gunshots. I look back up at the library windows, anger consuming me. How could those two boys do all of this?! They have killed so many people and they might have even killed my husband, someone who wasn’t even supposed to have been here today! With the adrenaline of my fury puling through me, I run. When I get to his cop car, I look around me. I see students hiding behind the car, I see police everywhere, parents standing by the barricades thirty yards away by the street, but still no Erik.
“June”
I hear his voice behind me. I quickly turn to see his face, covered in soot, blood and fresh tears. I run to him, my own face full of emotion as well. I throw myself at him, pulling myself as close as I can. I ignore his uniform, torn and stained from going into the building and carrying students out, and kiss his face, anywhere I can get my lips to touch. He does the same until we both pull away and begin talking. Between the sobs, I give him the short version of what I just went through while he explains his side of the events. Never once do we let go of each other, even if its just holding hands.
The event winds down as more and more students are rescued from the building. We hear from the radio that the two murderers committed suicide (18), signaling the end of the continuous gunshots.
